18 October 2023

This morning I had a conversation with my barber. He asked what’s new in my life and I told him I have a new job since the last time I’d seen him. 

“I work on Broadway at a place called The 12/30 Club.”

I’d spent long enough at Taqueria del Sol and wanted to do something I could only do while here in Nashville. I told him that since I’m here for now, and who knows how much longer, I wanted to do something unique to Nashville. 

Given my skill set and interest, I decided to get a job on Broadway at a fine dining establishment as a back server. 

“That seems to be a more stimulating crowd than where you were,” he said.

He’s right. 

I learned a lot at Taqueria. I spent a year and half there. I met amazing people both in the form of guests and co-workers. When I look back, I’ll think of Taqueria with fondness. 

But I knew I wanted to get closer to the action, closer to the excitement, and closer to the pulse of Nashville. So, I decided, where better than Broadway?

I’m pretty sure most restaurant jobs end up sucking the life out of you if you intend to stay there forever but luckily that isn’t my intention.

I guess I still don’t know what a ‘conventional’ job looks like for me. I got in the habit of saying that I don’t want a ‘professional’ job but that isn’t the truth. I’d love to find a career that I can see myself in for the foreseeable future but I just haven’t yet. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to find it. And I’m ok with it.

I told him I’m pretty sure that if I put in enough effort, it’ll present itself to me.

My barber is full of sage wisdom. 

He agreed and qualified my statement. 

“You’re right. You’ll know it when you find it. But to find it, you can’t stop looking.”

Therein lies the truth.

And here’s where my tendency to tie everything back to my life in the family business could take over.

I do have that urge.

But I won’t.

For it’s bigger than that and more broad too. 

It’s about life. 

And fear.

I’m human and I’d have this fear regardless.

I’ve concluded that maybe I won’t ever find what it is I’m looking for. 

But as long as I stand in the face of that fear and keep looking, I’ll get a few good stories while I’m at it.

Maybe that’s all I’m looking for anyway.