People are looking at you weird.

Have you ever met the guy who can’t stop talking about his high school football days?

How about the girl who can’t stop talking about how great her life was before her boyfriend cheated on her? 

Ever meet a person who blames all the misfortune in their life on the poor parenting they received as a child?

I have. 

These people suck.

What’s worse than these people?

Realizing you are one of those people.

I know because it’s happened to me.

I think at some point in our lives, we’ve all been these people.

These stories from the past help tell the story of who we are today.

Plus, the past is fun to talk about.

It’s a nice way to avoid the reality of right now.

Sure. You probably did used to be able to run a 6 minute mile but a lot of good that doesn’t help you right now, does it?

As time moves on, our past becomes less relevant.

At a certain point, no one cares how many touchdowns you scored when you led your highschool football team to a conference championship. No one cares how hot the chick was that you were dating your freshman year of college. And no one cares that your boyfriend cheated on you, leaving you emotionally damaged and unable to trust anyone ever again. 

These stories are useful at the moment. They have an expiration date though. It’s up to us to determine just how long we want to continue to tell ourselves and others about the person we used to be.

It’s come to my attention that I tell a similar version of the same story to almost everyone I meet. 

It goes something like this: 

Someone will ask me how I got to my current juncture in life. A 29 year old man who manages and bartends at a taco shop for roughly 55 hours per week in Nashville, TN.

As soon as someone asks me this question, my insecurity comes creeping from my gut up through my throat, slips through my teeth, and out my mouth. 

I tell them that I had a long career working for my family’s senior living business. I’ll go into detail about that time and how if I really wanted to, I could’ve stayed there and enjoyed a comfortable life as the heir to that business. I tell them all about my experience. I tell them about the business. I tell them everything I know about the industry, immediately establishing credibility.

I tell it like it’s the most interesting story anyone’s ever been told. 

I tell it to avoid judgment.

It’s sick and it’s twisted. 

But the story tastes so good when it rolls off my tongue. 

Because deep down, there’s a part of me that’s uncomfortable with where I’m at and everything I’m going through right now, even if it’s hard to tell. 

So telling that story about who I’ve been and where I come from is an easy way to earn respect without actually having to earn it. 

It’s my safety blanket – fluffy and comfortable as it may be, it doesn’t actually offer any real safety.

And the same way the child needs to throw the safety blanket in the trash, I could do the same with the story I’m telling others about who I once was. 

The star quarterback could leave the glory days where they belong. 

And yes, your dad might not have paid as much attention to you as you think you deserved but he was probably doing his best with what he had and you should probably focus more on what you can control right now anyway.

The blanket is getting dirty and gross. 

And people are looking at you weird.