Yello

I’d be sitting in the back seat of the car and I’d hear my dad answer the phone.

“Yello!” he’d say. 

Going into conversation with one of his family members, he’d instantly change the inflection of his voice and slur his speech the way I’d never hear him do any other time. The entire conversation would be held in an almost foreign language and I’d wonder why. 

For the most part, my dad is a polished person and cares about his appearance. He presents professionally in most social situations and values a formal conversation. 

So, why did he feel the need to change the way he talked when he’d speak with family members on the phone? By the way, it wasn’t just on the phone, it was any time he was around his family members or, for that matter, anyone from the town he grew up in? Why did he feel like he needed to succumb to their way of speaking and water down his proper grammar and enunciation?

Furthermore, why did those same people my dad was pandering to not feel like they needed to change the way they spoke in order to meet my dad and his ability to communicate?

In his book, The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene suggests that mirroring is a tactic that charismatic people will use to get what they want when a power dynamic is present. That may be true in some cases, however I don’t know what was to be gained in the case of my dad stooping to the poor communication habits his family exercised other than their general acceptance. Aha! Maybe that’s it. Maybe he was longing for acceptance from a family that he never felt like he was a part of. Otherwise, I don’t see what was to be gained. 

I wonder what sacrifices I regularly make in order to be accepted into groups I want acceptance from.