Loosen Your Grip and Let It Drip

I’ve opened myself to some of life’s unexpected favors lately. I can’t say they’re  all for the better and they certainly aren't all for the worse. 

Take, for example, the apartment I’m in the process of moving into. I spent most of the day yesterday moving my belongings from an apartment in undoubtedly the most desired location in Nashville. It’s also potentially one of the nicest buildings in the city.  And, I’m moving into an apartment on the exact opposite end of that spectrum. Where my old building had windows from floor to ceiling, a complimentary coffee roasting machine in the lobby,  24/7 smiling concierge service, and all of the other amenities you’d expect the nicest apartment building in a budding, trending city like Nashville to have, my new apartment has cockroaches (not kidding), decor from the 80’s, chain smoking beneficiaries of government issued disability assistance, and cobwebs lining the stairs from ground to ceiling. As much of an ego blow as it feels, it’s a decision I know I needed to make. 

I recently started a new job where I took a significant pay cut to leave a life that made me so inexorably miserable. I knew a sacrifice like the apartment move would be part of the journey and I’m doing my best to take it in stride.

Earlier this morning, I played golf with my buddy Garrison and his dad. Oddly, it was the best round of golf I can ever remember playing. It might have been a coincidence, but when you examine the world as intently as I do, you tend to believe less in coincidence and more in unexamined trends. I should note: I’m an ‘average’ golfer and I’ve always been content with that. To me, golf, more than anything, is an excuse to get out and socialize with friends. Maybe, I should elaborate on what I mean by ‘average’ golfer. My definition of an average golfer is this: Someone who can walk on a course with a group of other guys that have never played before or fewer times than they can count on one hand. Among that group of players, an ‘average’ golfer should possess the skills to appear to be good enough to be considered to play on the PGA Tour. Alternatively, an ‘average’ golfer among a group of serious golfers, you know, the ones that jerk off to the newest set of TaylorMade irons, and continuously talk about their handicap should loook something like a chimpanzee trying to figure out how to solve an algebra equation using a TI-84 II calculator. The point is, I really don’t know what I’m doing out there, but I’m good enough to make it look like I do. 

But, today was different. I felt a little more loose than I usually do. I cared a little less about what everyone around me was thinking of my game. As a result, I loosened my grip a little more than I usually do and just let the ball fly. Like I said, the best round of golf I can ever remember playing. 

I can only attribute such a magical round to taking the game even less seriously than I usually do. And, just like my golf game, I’ve started to notice a similar trend in my life. I’m taking it and myself less seriously than I ever have and I’ve noticed a happier and more lighthearted outlook on it all. I’ve started to care a lot less about what other people think about me and who they think I should be and doing more of what I know will make me happy. 

It turns out leaving the person you thought you were supposed to be behind can free you to find a whole new you. 

The same way you can’t control the way the juice from a freshly sliced watermelon drips down your chin after you take a bite too big for your mouth to chew, life is too mercurial to control.

As a result, I’m starting to learn it’s better to ease my grip and let the juice from the watermelon drip.